Sunday, August 02, 2009

Hate

There's so much that I want to do, but somehow... I just don't.

getting this ill mood, I see nothing but negativity. It happens to teenagers, but I'm technically a young adult now. I see little hope for my future.

I'd love to play a sad song on the piano, but I've forgotten to play. I have a bass, but I've never studied it. I wished to play the violin, but I was never given the chance.

I can draw, but it isn't that good. The color schemes I use are safe and pretty much boring. I can't paint- it usually ends up in a mess. I get stumped trying to think of some new design for class.

I write stories, but none of them are any good. I've come up with scenarios, characters, and pretty much a complete concept for a series, but I've never put it down on paper. My English isn't that good. Fluent, but nothing great.

I'm really great at calculating, that is if I know the equation for it. big numbers still confuse me, and I keep forgetting what some equations are for.

Sciences intrigue me, but all that waiting, experimenting, and researching... I don't have the patience for it.

I'd try Law, but that and politics, I really don't like. it'd bore me to death.

I could be a techie, but I'd still have to memorize things. Know the ins and outs of hardware, software, firmware, and whatnot.

I could be in Performing arts... that's the only thing I can say I have confidence in. I should be acting...?

In sports, I've tried various games and artes, but I can't say I'm good at any of them.

I love video games, but I end up seeking walkthroughs for RPG's. Getting whooped at competitive games like VS, or Racing games. I only find joy in my hard work in Music/Rhythm games.

I love wasting my time on TV series and movies. but after a while, I forget their characters, story, morals, meanings... eventually.

I'd always use the internet. But what is it for? my life, everything- wasted.

In the end, I'm good for nothing. I'd probably be an underpaid office worker or something.

even after writing this I don't have the motivation. it's be a big lie if I said "I'm going to do my best!" or "From now on, I'll study hard!".





I wish, in my next life... I'd have a better life than this.

11:57 PM
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