Last night I did some things, it was stupid, but still...
They all thought I was dead. "Golda" seems to be a term for suicide now. I don't think they actually know me. I could never leave this world, there's no exit for me. I'm very materialistic, and I just can't leave all that stuff behind, or having not owned some other things, at all.
Anyway, every night, the Internet is pulled out around 12mn or 1am. I don't exactly know why, but because of that, my sanity dissappears when I have nothing to do, to top it off, I can't sleep till around 5-7 am. with no one to talk to, be with, play with, I'm left all alone thinking about stuff; to the extent that I'm over thinking things.
There's definitely something wrong with me. It's like pure emotions just pour out and do what they do, I forget the most part of what theyre doing. Most of the time, it's my anger/rage that runs amock. just like last night.
Apparently this "disorder" happens only at night; where I have no one with me. Think The Sims, Where your sims has high, or good status on everything except that empty social bar. My "broken Badmnton Racket" is deformed now. I could have repaired it. I just needed string, but now it's definitely out of shape.
Sometimes, I go out for a walk, around Metro Manila. The furthest I got was Khan's place. I could walk to other places, But it seems that I don't tread on unfamiliar land, or places where I don't have friends in. I coud try walking to SM North or UP, but I have no reason to be there. I think I've set up a goal to walk around atleast Metro Manila in one day. I think it's doable, with the right equipment and nutrition.
Walking seems to calm me down, I see people around me, even if I don't interact with them. But I don't walk every night, My feet get tired and feel hurt, so I don't walk the city every night. That, and I don't have that much money to be strolling around far places; I'd need two bottles/cans of drinks, and some food.
12:52 AM Did You LISTEN Carefully?
12th of May
UST:Fine Arts Major in Advertising