Saturday, August 15, 2009
Good day turned sour.
It was a wonderful day at MoA, specially since Graphika Manila was so inspiring!
Unfortunately later that night I was attacked by insecurity, depression then aggression.
I should be used to this by now- but no, the fact that I was at MoA, at night, in the weekend "ALONE" slowly sank in. in a desperate attempt, I tried contacting anyone I knew who I thought was there. I didn't want to be alone. I tried calling but my cellphone, or theirs, just wouldn't connect. The line is busy or something. I took out my cigs, but I couldn't smoke right. Everything felt like it was no use, I almost tried to smash my cellphone, and my cigs were crushed.
I guess I have too much time to myself that I'm getting sick of it. I should have put something on my wednesday and thursday. this schedule just blows.
sigh.
---------
edit:
It may have been sour, but it's all good once you talk to the plurkada (dance)
also this:
A picture of Stefan Seagmeister and (what I believe is) Alodia(?)... idk. and to the left is... me!! (lmaomfglol)
HAHAHAHAH - this made my night (take note of the watermark/website on the lowerleft)
Unfortunately later that night I was attacked by insecurity, depression then aggression.
I should be used to this by now- but no, the fact that I was at MoA, at night, in the weekend "ALONE" slowly sank in. in a desperate attempt, I tried contacting anyone I knew who I thought was there. I didn't want to be alone. I tried calling but my cellphone, or theirs, just wouldn't connect. The line is busy or something. I took out my cigs, but I couldn't smoke right. Everything felt like it was no use, I almost tried to smash my cellphone, and my cigs were crushed.
I guess I have too much time to myself that I'm getting sick of it. I should have put something on my wednesday and thursday. this schedule just blows.
sigh.
---------
edit:
It may have been sour, but it's all good once you talk to the plurkada (dance)
also this:
A picture of Stefan Seagmeister and (what I believe is) Alodia(?)... idk. and to the left is... me!! (lmaomfglol)
HAHAHAHAH - this made my night (take note of the watermark/website on the lowerleft)
10:32 PM
Did You LISTEN Carefully?
Did You LISTEN Carefully?
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Hate
There's so much that I want to do, but somehow... I just don't.
getting this ill mood, I see nothing but negativity. It happens to teenagers, but I'm technically a young adult now. I see little hope for my future.
I'd love to play a sad song on the piano, but I've forgotten to play. I have a bass, but I've never studied it. I wished to play the violin, but I was never given the chance.
I can draw, but it isn't that good. The color schemes I use are safe and pretty much boring. I can't paint- it usually ends up in a mess. I get stumped trying to think of some new design for class.
I write stories, but none of them are any good. I've come up with scenarios, characters, and pretty much a complete concept for a series, but I've never put it down on paper. My English isn't that good. Fluent, but nothing great.
I'm really great at calculating, that is if I know the equation for it. big numbers still confuse me, and I keep forgetting what some equations are for.
Sciences intrigue me, but all that waiting, experimenting, and researching... I don't have the patience for it.
I'd try Law, but that and politics, I really don't like. it'd bore me to death.
I could be a techie, but I'd still have to memorize things. Know the ins and outs of hardware, software, firmware, and whatnot.
I could be in Performing arts... that's the only thing I can say I have confidence in. I should be acting...?
In sports, I've tried various games and artes, but I can't say I'm good at any of them.
I love video games, but I end up seeking walkthroughs for RPG's. Getting whooped at competitive games like VS, or Racing games. I only find joy in my hard work in Music/Rhythm games.
I love wasting my time on TV series and movies. but after a while, I forget their characters, story, morals, meanings... eventually.
I'd always use the internet. But what is it for? my life, everything- wasted.
In the end, I'm good for nothing. I'd probably be an underpaid office worker or something.
even after writing this I don't have the motivation. it's be a big lie if I said "I'm going to do my best!" or "From now on, I'll study hard!".
I wish, in my next life... I'd have a better life than this.
getting this ill mood, I see nothing but negativity. It happens to teenagers, but I'm technically a young adult now. I see little hope for my future.
I'd love to play a sad song on the piano, but I've forgotten to play. I have a bass, but I've never studied it. I wished to play the violin, but I was never given the chance.
I can draw, but it isn't that good. The color schemes I use are safe and pretty much boring. I can't paint- it usually ends up in a mess. I get stumped trying to think of some new design for class.
I write stories, but none of them are any good. I've come up with scenarios, characters, and pretty much a complete concept for a series, but I've never put it down on paper. My English isn't that good. Fluent, but nothing great.
I'm really great at calculating, that is if I know the equation for it. big numbers still confuse me, and I keep forgetting what some equations are for.
Sciences intrigue me, but all that waiting, experimenting, and researching... I don't have the patience for it.
I'd try Law, but that and politics, I really don't like. it'd bore me to death.
I could be a techie, but I'd still have to memorize things. Know the ins and outs of hardware, software, firmware, and whatnot.
I could be in Performing arts... that's the only thing I can say I have confidence in. I should be acting...?
In sports, I've tried various games and artes, but I can't say I'm good at any of them.
I love video games, but I end up seeking walkthroughs for RPG's. Getting whooped at competitive games like VS, or Racing games. I only find joy in my hard work in Music/Rhythm games.
I love wasting my time on TV series and movies. but after a while, I forget their characters, story, morals, meanings... eventually.
I'd always use the internet. But what is it for? my life, everything- wasted.
In the end, I'm good for nothing. I'd probably be an underpaid office worker or something.
even after writing this I don't have the motivation. it's be a big lie if I said "I'm going to do my best!" or "From now on, I'll study hard!".
I wish, in my next life... I'd have a better life than this.
11:57 PM
Did You LISTEN Carefully?
Did You LISTEN Carefully?
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Oh hello blog, time to revive you again
Micro blogging killed it for about two months I think?
Anyway, nothing much is really going on. That or there is and I'm not in it.
I've been watching 1 Liter of Tears, and gosh, it has a lot of tear jerking moments.
I just love the fact that Yuuki Sato is there~ (Haruto Asou's bigger brother)
I like him because of reasone I've already hinted in my plurk. go try and look fot it mack in apr-may... if you can! mwahahahaha!!
Seriously, does Plurk even have an archive?
I can't seem to find plurks that are one month old.
Oh, right my PC was attacked by a virus smetime back, and well, lost all my programs. No Photoshop, not even MS Word for typing stuff.
and my dad came home from dubai. I'm not sure if I already said it before here. haha...
well, even though we each have messed up schedules, I still love adtu. and even people who were, or for some of them weren't, adtu.
Khan, Pabs, Te, Gel, Ken, Nica, Xian, Mike, Louie, Macci...
aaand there's Marina, Kechu, Terens, Cabe, Justine, Carol, Gian, Migs, Teta, Kookie...
Do I have to name everyone? hahaha //got carried away.
...Jihan, Bombee, Jompy... hahaha //should stop.
Anyway, nothing much is really going on. That or there is and I'm not in it.
I've been watching 1 Liter of Tears, and gosh, it has a lot of tear jerking moments.
I just love the fact that Yuuki Sato is there~ (Haruto Asou's bigger brother)
I like him because of reasone I've already hinted in my plurk. go try and look fot it mack in apr-may... if you can! mwahahahaha!!
Seriously, does Plurk even have an archive?
I can't seem to find plurks that are one month old.
Oh, right my PC was attacked by a virus smetime back, and well, lost all my programs. No Photoshop, not even MS Word for typing stuff.
and my dad came home from dubai. I'm not sure if I already said it before here. haha...
well, even though we each have messed up schedules, I still love adtu. and even people who were, or for some of them weren't, adtu.
Khan, Pabs, Te, Gel, Ken, Nica, Xian, Mike, Louie, Macci...
aaand there's Marina, Kechu, Terens, Cabe, Justine, Carol, Gian, Migs, Teta, Kookie...
Do I have to name everyone? hahaha //got carried away.
...Jihan, Bombee, Jompy... hahaha //should stop.
11:50 AM
Did You LISTEN Carefully?
Did You LISTEN Carefully?
